Losing a Child: 7 Years Later

When Christopher died March 24, 2002, I was at his bedside in the trauma unit at Vanderbilt Hospital Center in Nashville. Chris was in the Army, stationed at Ft. Campbell, KY. One weekend he and a friend were hiking in the hills surrounding the base, when Chris slipped on some wet leaves and went over a 30 foot cliff, hitting his head on the way down.

It took 4 hours to airlift him to Nashville because they were in a remote area. This delay in treatment caused his brain to swell. I received a phone call from the Colonel of his division and flew to Nashville. Army personnel escorted me to the hospital from the airport.

When I arrived at Vanderbilt Hospital, I slowly walked into the large trauma ward, not set up as individual rooms, but curtained-off areas. I could hear the loud pumping noise of a respirator as I walked up to my son. His body was warm, but the brain functioning was not there. I talked to him and touched his hands for about 3 hours, while two military wives rubbed my back and consoled me.

It took 6 years for me to put his picture back on the wall in my apartment. Initially, I couldn't look at it without a pang of sorrow and I didn't want to feel that pain. But in 2008 I had healed enough to hang his picture again, and began to smile when I saw it, remembering the good times. I can imagine that he is "somewhere else" now, and watching me go through the grieving process. On March 24th, 2009, I think I can smile at his memory now.