I'm Getting a Breast Reduction!

Well, now, it is a fact that I have huge boobs. I finally got fed up with the pain and hassle that big boobs brings, such as neck and shoulder pain, grooves in my shoulders under the bra strap, having to buy bras online because nobody seems to want to make bras for giant boobs in local stores, and not being able to run without the lifting and crashing of fatty flesh.

This is because I recently had a biopsy done on the left breast, and the surgeon highly recommended that I get a breast reduction... and so the idea was planted in my brain. At first I was afraid and said "no way!", but after I thought about it and researched it on the internet, I made a decision to "go for it"!

At the first visit with the Plastic Surgeon, he just kind of shook his head when he saw my huge tits and muttered to himself while he took measurements. (I think I impressed even him!) So it's pretty certain that my insurance will pay for the procedure since I have all the right requirements.

Now I am excited to have it done, and am counting down the days. I feel unafraid of the pain of surgery and recovery and am resigned to the fact that I will probably hate myself the day after surgery because of the huge pain I am enduring. So onward and upward! (pun intended)

Breast Biopsy - Cancer Schmiopsy!

I admit I have the biggest boobs in the world. Cup size H. (and no, I am not 500 pounds)....close, but not there yet. Well I get the wonderful tit squishing machine they call a mammogram, and they find a "spot". What's a "Spot"? "We don't know." "You have to have a breast biopsy to see if it's cancer". oh. how nice. oh.

So....under general anesthetic I later wake up with a giant black/blue/purple area on my breast that would be substituted for the artificial turf on the football field. I mean, BIG. Huge and scarey looking.

To make matters worse, the regular stitches the doctor put in failed, and blood started flowing out so I had to be hospitalized, and re-stitched with industrial-strength thread.

It is now one week later. I do not have cancer, thank G. But my breast is all colors of the rainbow and a two inch band of black stitches is poking out. Must have been some lump, huh? Maybe I should frame the lump and hang it over the pig's barn door saying "Some Lump" and make some money off of it. Who knows? (to those of you who do not recognize my obscure reference to the book and movie "Charlotte's Web", the spider wrote "some pig" in her web and suddenly people started seeing the plain old pig as "something".)