Jun 28, 2009

How to Stop Isolating

I used to have trouble leaving the house. I wasn't really agoraphobic, just had mental problems (and still do). I made as few appointments as possible and did not show up for family gatherings. The one appointment I had to attend was with my psychiatrist. I HAD to go there.

But there is a way out of this isolating behavior. First, I had to have my depression under control, and over the years the right medication combination was put into effect. Next, I had to stop drinking alcohol. Not only is alcohol a depressant, but I would not want to make appointments because I might be drunk or hung over. Not good.

For me, taking "baby steps" was the key. I would force myself to go out somewhere close and for a short time. After repeated successes, I would keep going out of the house for longer periods of time. The excuse of "there's nowhere to go" had to be smashed. I realized that there are always places to go, such as the library, the mall, an art gallery, the park, a swimming pool or perhaps a coffee shop. I just hadn't been interested in going to those places. Once I started doing it, I found that I had a pattern of interesting places I could go to fill my time.

Sitting in the easy chair and watching t.v. is always an option, but it is no longer my only choice. With depression under control, abstaining from alcohol and going out to one of my scheduled places works quite well.

2 comments:

Bianca Sargeant said...

I love the tips about how to stop isolating yourself, especially the one about smashing the "there is no where to go" excuse. That is a famous one and one I hear a lot as a peer support worker (and one I used a lot myself when I was suffering from depression). It is about picking yourself up, making plans to get excited about and being excited about following those plans through. I think it is also important to go somewhere that has meaning, not just going somewhere for the sake of going there. If you attach meaning to an outing, you take more pride in following through and feel a higher sense of accomplishment when you do follow it through. That's what I have found for myself :)

Carley Elise said...

Thanks, Bianca. It is ideal to go somewhere with "meaning". My experience was that nowhere had meaning or excitement, so the first step was to "suit up and show up". Then I found places I liked to go, and then they had meaning. For example, church!